Dear Joshua,

No time to write properly but just a short reply for three letters you sent. I have been treating you badly of late with my untimely reply, but I think, with some excuse of work-related anxieties, you could spare me from presumption that I am neglecting you. And, I am really sorry indeed to hear that you have been treated badly by your colleagues.

It is a little difficult to explain how I feel that tho’ you have taken a way which is not for me, Roman Catholicism. I nevertheless can congratulate you – I suppose you rejoice in faith. Naturally, I do not draw from that the same conclusion in my own spiritual journeys; but there is no need for us to start a controversial correspondence! I have to admit that theologically, R. C. case as the true Church is quite convincing although at the end I have different conclusion. I can understand why Chesterton converted to R. C. from Anglicanism in his last years.

Indeed, I agree with you that the present wide-spread of atheism and apostasy is the fault of the clergy. However, I am rather sick of the modern assumption that, for all events (mostly negative stuffs), the people, never feel responsible: it is always our government, failing system, boss, etc but precious “us“. We are apparently perfect and blameless.

Oremus pro invicem,

Ho

Banyak orang merasa hidup di luar negeri itu enaknya bukan main, mulai dari gaji besar dan hidup yang nyaman. Mereka tidak melihat bahwa hidup di luar negeri sebetulnya jauh lebih keras dibandingkan di dalam negeri (baca: Indonesia). Saya meninggalkan Indonesia tahun 2004 dan kembali sebentar tahun 2005, 2007, dan 2009. Apa yang saya lihat adalah kehidupan foya-foya yang akhirnya membuat saya mengalami ‘culture shock’ dan inilah yang membuat saya ‘malas’ untuk kembali ke Indonesia.

Di lain pihak, satu hal yang membuat saya berat untuk meninggalkan Indonesia adalah keluarga. Kita harus mengakui, sejelek-jeleknya keluarga kita, mereka masih keluarga kita. Anda bisa bayangkan seberapa sedihnya seorang anak bila mendengar salah satu kerabat apalagi orang tuanya sakit – begitu pula sebaliknya.

Bila saya tinggal di Singapura atau Malaysia mungkin tidaklah begitu bermasalah tapi tinggal di Eropa atau Amerika yang jarak tempuh kembali ke rumah minimal 18 jam tentu menjadi ‘concern’ tersendiri. Skype, facebook, or telepon sudah banyak membantu tetapi semuanya itu tidak bisa menggantikan arti sebuah pelukan.

‘Yah, tidak usah tinggal di luar negeri dong!’. ‘Well, I am fully aware that this is the consequence…’ Sometimes I wish we could teleport anywhere in a blink. Oh, Doraemon, pinjam ‘Pintu Kemana Saja!!!’

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Many people feel that living abroad is absurdly sweet, from big salary and a comfortable life. They do not see that life abroad is actually much harder than in the country (read: Indonesia). I left Indonesia in 2004 and came back for a short time in 2005, 2007, and 2009. What I see now is a hedonistic lifestyle that made experiencing ’culture shock’ in my own country and this is what makes me ‘reluctant’ to return to Indonesia.

On the other hand, the one thing that makes me hard to leave Indonesia is my family. We must admit, no matter how bad our families are, they are still our family. You can imagine how sad sons and daughters when they hear that one relative is ill or worse their parents (- and vice versa).

If I lived in Malaysia or Singapore perhaps it would not be so problematic, but staying in Europe or the United States which home mileage of at least 18 hours would be a ‘concern’ of its own. Skype, Facebook, or phone has been quite helpful but it was not able to replace a hug.

‘Then, don’t live abroad!’. ’Well, I am fully aware That this is the consequence …’Sometimes I wish I could teleport anywhere in a blink like in Star Trek. Oh, Doraemon, lend me ‘Anywhere door! Please please please…”

Being a student and a teacher always thrills me. What is education and how do we actually examine our teaching method, students, even taking it to a bigger picture, our education system?

CS Lewis wrote to Dr. Warfield Firor about grading Scholarship Examinations at the end of the term:

…But there is something about this endless examining, quite apart from the labour, which bothers me. It sets me wondering about the whole system under which you, as well as we, now live. Behind all these closely written sheets which I have to read every year, even behind the worst of them, lie hours of hard, long work. Even the bad candidates are doing their best and have been trained up to this ever since they went to school. And naturally enough: for in the Democracies now, as formerly in China under the mandarin system, success in competitive examinations is the only moyen de parvenir*, the road from elementary school to the better schools, and thence to college, and thence to the professions. (You still have a flourishing alternative route to desirable jobs through business which is largely disappearing with us: but it is at least equally competitive).

This of course is what Democratic education means – give them all an equal start and let the winners show their form. Hence Equality of Opportunity in practice means ruthless competition during those very years which, I can’t help feeling, nature meant to be free and frolicsome. Can it be good, from the age of 10 to the age of 23, to be always preparing for an exam, and always knowing that your whole worldly future depends on it: and not only knowing it, but perpetually reminded of it by your parents and masters? Is this the way to breed a nation of people in psychological, moral, and spiritual health? (N.B. boys are now taught to regard Ambition as a virtue. I think we shall find that up to the XVIIIth Century, and back into Pagan times, all moralists regarded it as a vice and dealt with it accordingly). From:  C.S. Lewis, Letter to Warfield M. Firor Dec 3 1950, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis: Volume III (2007)

Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There wasnt one more thing you could’ve done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that gentleman – you’re perfect!

Coach Gary Gaines Friday Night Lights 2004

The clip says all what I think :)