On my preparation of wiriting a short newspaper article for Max Perutz writing competition, I bumped to CS Lewis book (again). His statements always make me think and meditate.
Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
CS Lewis, “On Three Ways of Writing for Children” (1952)
It is amazing how one’s world turns around with just the right attitude. Having the right attitude changes one’s perspective dramatically. It encourages rather than discourages. It motivates rather than interferes. It helps achieve rather than procrastinate and it makes everyone into better people.
Everything is possible with right attitude behind us to push us forward. When we feel that we can no longer achieve or finish a certain task, just having the right attitude pushes us on to our maximum potential, and we will eventually achieve in the end.
Having the right attitude encourages us to achieve a goal that wew have set for ourself and ultimately what others have set for us. There is no reason to be discouraged with the right attitude.
Everything is possible with right attitude to guide us in your way. Having the right attitude is like shining a bright light to whatever path we choose to take. We won’t get lost with this type of guidance and we won’t stray from the path as well. It will help us become more dedicated to reach the end of ourjourney, whether for a successful career or for self-discovery and improvement.
The right attitude will help us achieve great things in life. At work, procrastination won’t be an option with the right attitude. We would be constantly working for better things to ensure us a better life in the future.
Everything is possible with right attitude to look forward to. Things look brighter in the future if we look at the positive possibilities it holds for us. Do not mind the negativities in the future for this will only hinder us from going towards it. We cannot return to the past nor can we stay in the present. We have to move forward to the future in order to grow as a person.
We are constantly motivated when we have the right attitude. Unlike having a negative attitude which constantly interferes with our achievement, having the right attitude won’t. It would only foster growth and improvement.
Everything is possible with right attitude to live by. When we live each day in a positive light, looking at every person’s positive side, and learning from every situation’s positive aspect, we will become one happy and fulfilled person. We will learn from the people you encounter and the situations we are faced with.
With learning comes growth and with growth comes improvement. We become a better person than who we are now. And ultimately, as being a better person, we will be able to influence other people to be the same and the world won’t be such a harsh place to live in anymore.
Yes, everything is possible with right attitude in mind. With the right attitude there is no room to stagnate. If we live each day with the right attitude we will also see great opportunities for every single day that greets us.
But again, it is a choice whether we would like to have the right positive attitute or not… a lesson that we could learn together.
The more friends you have, the more you earn, says a study. But modern life can allow little time to maintain meaningful relationships, so what’s the optimum number of friends?
It’s widely accepted that friendships are invaluable to the soul but few of us were aware that they could also boost the bank account.
A study of 10,000 US students over a period of 35 years suggests the wealthiest people are those that had the most friends at school. Each extra schoolfriend added 2% to the salary.
The researchers said this was because the workplace is a social setting and those with the best social skills prosper in management and teamwork.
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‘I HAVE 700 FRIENDS’
Toks Timson, 41, from Croydon, has 707 Facebook friends
‘I actually know or have met or worked with or went to school with or am related to at least 550.
‘The others are just friends of friends or random adds from people.
‘Having that number of friends is a lot of work for sure. I’m a bit of a raver and also someone who makes friends easily.’
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If a wide circle of friends is taken as a popularity indicator, does that mean the more you have the more successful and happy you are? Or can you have too many? What is the best number?
The average number is about 150, says leading anthropologist Robin Dunbar.
It may sound like a lot, but think of your Christmas card list - 50 cards to 50 couples = 100 friends.
“It’s the number of people that you know as persons and you know how they fit into your social world and they know how you fit into theirs. They are a group of people to which you have an obligation of friendship.”
They usually consist of an inner circle of five “core” people and an additional layer of 10, he says. That makes 15 people - some will probably be family members - who are your central group and then outside that, there’s another 35 in the next circle and another 100 on the outside. And that’s one person’s social world.
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 Aristotle said friends must have eaten salt together 
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Friendships help us develop as people, says Mark Vernon, author of The Philosophy of Friendship, but the very term “friend” covers a whole range of relationships. You have a very close friendship with your partner but with others it may just be a common interest or history or simply children the same age.
“Aristotle said friends must have eaten salt together and what he meant is there’s a sense that people have lived a significant part of their life together. They’ve sat down and shared meals and the ups and downs of life.
“You really have to have mulled over things with them to become really good friends and there’s only so many people you can do that with.
“You can have friends because of what you do together or enjoy something together like football or shopping, but they’re not as profound friends as those who you love for themselves because of something in their character. And it doesn’t matter what you’re doing with them, even sitting alone in a room.”
‘One in, one out’
There’s a limit to how many close friends like this you can have and it’s probably between six and 12, he says.
“I think this idea that you can have virtually limitless numbers of friends does water down the concept of friendship. I think it’s one of those things where less is more.”
Not if you’re a socialite like designer Nicky Haslam, who recently threw a party for 800 friends. But even people who don’t inhabit the heady world of fashion and celebrity have too many friends to manage.
A newspaper columnist once told of her shock when, having struck up a rapport with a man over dinner, she was told at the end of the meal he had no vacancies for friends. He was operating a “one-in, one-out” policy. Six months later she received a card stating he was now available for friendship.
That’s an extreme example but many people view their friendships scientifically and regulate them accordingly.
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‘I STREAMLINE FRINGE FRIENDS’
Penny, a 35-year-old mum of two in Brighton, says she has 12 good friends but of those would only really confide in four
‘There’s not enough hours in the day or days in the week to see everyone.
‘Certain people ask if I’m around to meet and I don’t really want to commit because I’ve got other people I want to see.
‘So you do start streamlining, but your oldest friends are always there.’
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Julie, a 34-year-old PR consultant in London, says she has three categories of friends. Firstly there are nine close friends - the Premier League - whom she could ring any time of day or night and they would drop everything and come if necessary.
“I try to see them every few weeks and speak at least once a fortnight. I have a rota in my head and try and ring one of them each night as I drive home from work. It shows how pressured we are for time that speaking to friends is multi-tasking.”
Julie’s next social group has about 20 people, mostly men, whom she would see every couple of months, then there are more than 100 people beyond that on the outer fringes - friends from work, friends from her last job and friends from travelling.
“There are two people whom I don’t really want to stay friends with but I don’t have the heart to say no to. People I used to work with, they invite you to dinner and then you feel you have to invite them back, but you really don’t have the time and it gets really stressful, especially since getting a boyfriend.
“I want to spend two nights a week with him, two nights to myself at home and two nights at the gym, so that leaves one night to see people.”
Far-fetched it may be, but five close friends is about average
There is a perception that as society has become more mobile, and traditional family bonds have loosened, friendships have become more fleeting. But on the other hand, modern technology has meant we can stay in touch with more people than ever.
“First email, then mobile, and now social networking sites like Facebook have made it much easier for people to grow their circle of friends beyond their immediate inner circle,” says digital media expert Dan Clays of BLM Quantum.
“But the swelling is predominantly in the outer-reaches of their circle, and often the fringe group. If you were to examine the profile of someone’s group of friends on Facebook, the probability is that a large contingent were accepted as friends out of curiosity and after an initial exchange, the level of dialogue slows down to a trickle.”
This is especially apparent in the 16-24 audience group, the digital generation, he says, so it will be interesting to see if they are able to maintain that contact later in life.
But maybe we’re too fixated on numbers, says Mr Vernon.
“Ask yourself about the quality of your friendships, not about the quantity.”
Source: BBC News (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7920434.stm), Retrieved 15 May 2009
