(image source: www.ohlalamag.com)

Sometimes I wonder how and why I came this far in my life (see my previous post). Approaching the end of 2008, I review myself. I realize, 2008 is one of the most important years in my life:

2008 was The Year of The Biggest Decision

Some important events:

1. Realization of iBiotech, Grand Biotechnology Road Show in four different cities with GeNeYouS and IBSF with more than 3000 students participating and various supports from from different government bodies, companies, and universities (March);
2. Accepted to pursue Ph.D in MRC PPU with Prof. Sir Philip Cohen for the next 3 years (until 2011) (May);
3. Receiving my Bachelor degree (Ba./ing.) from HAN University of Applied Sciences with cum laude (July);
4. Taking my parents to get their first ‘tour’ around western Europe (Aug-Sept), and
5. Awarded Boehringer-Ingelheim Fellowship and also MRC-PPU Studentprize, Discovery Scholarship and College of Life Sciences Bursary to support my Ph.D financially. (August-November)

Several things that I still have to improve in 2009.

1. Communication English (writing/presentation) skills especially critical-thinking in analyzing (scientific) papers;
2. Patience, adrenalin and testosteron rush, I need to be more patient and less procastinating;
3. Try to simplify my schedule, get more priorities and focus to my study and Ph.D research

Things I want to do (if possible):

1. Taking French language course;
2. Possibility of taking MBA or Science and Policy degree (part-time); and
3. Adapting to British ‘organizational-style’ - less “serious” - than in The Netherlands/EU

“My Hall of Fame 2008″:

1. My family for their continous support;
2. Prof. Sir Philip Cohen for his mentorship throughout the year;
3. Dr. Remko Bosch for his guidance in preparing my career;
4. Audrey Clarissa, Alstair Bharata, Michael Putrawenas, Terry Vrijenhoek, Jenny Wang, Kalman Wijaya, and Listya Karyadi for all your work, collaboration and support in all aspects of organizations;
5. Andy McLean for the photography sessions
6. and others whom I cannot named one-by-one. You know you will always be remembered!

Trivial things:

1. Weight: 64 kg (2007)// 63kg (2008)
2. Height: 172cm (2007) // 173.8 (2008)
3. Eyesight: from -6.5 (2007) // -7.5 (2008)
4. Seminars and training: 38 seminars (2007) // 63 seminars (2008)
5. Website visitors: 21500 visits/24000 hits (2007) // 32000 visits/369000 hits (2008)

How about your resolutions? Shall we keep reminding each other? I explicitly put my resolutions here so people can be my witness and serve as social contract. Feel free to drop a comment or email if you have more constructive critics for me

Let’s keep the good work! Oremus pro invicem…

Previous years: 2005, 2006 & 2007

Have you wondered why and how do you come to be who and what you are?

I have.

Brought up in a simple and sufficient (not more) family, I was always ungrateful during my childhood. I always wanted more expecially with my peers who are ‘middle-class-and higher’. I envied my friends who could play nintendo, bought expensive crayons, or even have birthday parties in restaurants. Then, when I stepped into junior high school, I dreamt about having my education abroad - then, for college I was dreaming again to study in US-like universities or even places in UK like Oxford. I was never satisfied with my life then (to certain extend, I am still now). I blamed God, I hated Him for putting me in a ’simple’ family. But then I realized something: I cannt be angry with God and not believe in Him at the same time. No one can. Not even an atheist. I am not happy but I am not unhappy either - I should be happy as people always assume that I have a happy and perfect life - many things have been burdening my mind.

Last night, I stumbled upon a movie which I downloaded ages ago but never watched it. “History Boys” (2006). It is about a group of boys getting ready for OxBridge (Oxford and Cambridge), after all the lessons from their mentors, they manage to pass the exam and interview to get to Oxford but at the end some of them are happy with low-class jobs like dry-cleaner chain, builders or just a highschool teachers. Getting to expensive or top universities does not guarantee that we will be successful - it is always come back to us

I learn a great deal of life. Today, the commemoration of Jesus’ birth. Do you know that it took 40 generations (accord. to Gospel of Luke) from Abraham to Jesus? God promised Abrahamabout the Messiah and He came 40 generations after that? I believe that all life on earth has purposes - to what and who I am right now. The questions that keep shadowing me, “What if… I was born in different family? … I never went to Netherlands? … I went to Max Planck instead of MRC? … etc” - Is it my free will to come to my state right now? Is it predestined?

Those questions are insoluble as CS Lewis Lewis explained in his letters (CS Lewis’s Letters ‘Yours, Jack’). Letters compiled from his early age until the last letter before he passed away. I feel like diving in his mind - his life journey. [I know I have to read more scientific papers but this month, I have been drawn to various philosophical books from St. Augustine to Nietzche - finished 8 books so far!]

What struck me the most is the way Lewis approaches free will vs predestination.

God is the Creator of all. Time is one of the things He created, so I find it very very unlikely, indeed impossible, for Him to be bound by it Himself. That is why He is the Unchanging God - time doesn’t affect Him. He Is, Was and Ever Shall Be. Baruch Shem.

CS Lewis put it soberly when he said time was like a piece of paper with many lines, our lives, branching out beginning to end, crisscrossing each other countless times. We each may choose how we twist or go, God may choose to place blessings here or there according to prayers or His own Will; always blessings (though you may perhaps view them as curses, I doubt He does).

God can see the whole sheet with all the lines fully drawn and may choose which line suits His purposes best, prophets and the common man or woman, because He can see the entirety of it, but it is you who chooses the path you take.

Oremus pro invicem

and

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATE IT

Pada suatu pagi Romo mengundang umat lingkungan kami dalam suatu pertemuan di Pastoran, beberapa rekan yang diundang adalah orang yang sudah mapan dan mempunyai karir yang cukup gemilang, dan setelah mengucap salam; pagi itu semua bercerita tentang keluhan masing-masing atas kehidupan terutama paska kenaikan BBM, tentang susahnya hidup, dll.

Seperti lazimnya Romo menyuguhkan teh panas dalam sebuah teko, tapi uniknya Romo menyediakan berbagai jenis gelas dari porselin, plastik, gelas kristal, gelas biasa; beberapa diantaranya gelas mahal dan beberapa lainnya yang sangat indah kemudiaan Romo mengajak para peserta pertemuan untuk menuang sendiri dan memilih sendiri gelas yang diinginkannya.

Setelah semua hadirin mendapat segelas teh di tangan, Sang Romo berkata:   “Jika kalian perhatikan, semua gelas yang indah dan mahal telah diambil dan yang tertinggal hanyalah gelas biasa yang murah saja. Meskipun normal bagi kalian untuk mengingini hanya yang terbaik bagi diri kalian, tapi sebenarnya itulah yang menjadi sumber masalah dan stress yang kalian alami.”

“Pastikan bahwa gelas itu sendiri tidak mempengaruhi kualitas teh yang ada. Dalam banyak kasus, itu hanya lebih mahal; dan dalam beberapa kasus bahkan menyembunyikan apa yang kita minum.

Apa yang kalian inginkan sebenarnya adalah teh manis tersebut bukan?,  bukanlah gelasnya; namun kalian secara sadar mengambil gelas paling baik dan kemudian mulai memperhatikan gelas orang - orang lain.

“Sekarang perhatikanlah bahwa : kehidupan bagaikan teh manis, sedangkan pekerjaan, uang dan posisi dalam masyarakat adalah gelasnya. Gelas sebagai alat untuk memegang dan mengisi kehidupan. Jenis gelas yang kita miliki tidak mendefinisikan atau juga mengganti kualitas kehidupan yang kita hidupi. Sering kali, karena berkonsentrasi hanya pada gelas, kita gagal untuk menikmati teh manis hangat yang Tuhan sediakan bagi kita.”
Tuhan memasak dan membuat teh manis, bukan gelasnya. Jadi nikmatilah teh manisnya, jangan gelasnya.

Sadarilah jika kehidupan Anda itu lebih penting dibanding pekerjaan Anda.  Jika pekerjaan Anda membatasi diri Anda dan mengendalikan hidup Anda, Anda menjadi orang yang mudah diserang dan rapuh akibat perubahan keadaan. Pekerjaan akan datang dan pergi, namun itu seharusnya tidak merubah diri Anda sebagai manusia.
Pastikan Anda membuat tabungan kesuksesan dalam kehidupan selain dari pekerjaan Anda.

Last weekend on my way back from lab, I decided to stop by Dundee Botanic Garden. I was in need of silent moments. Reflecting back on my life. It is almost the end of 2008 already and it surprises me how far I have ‘evolved’ from 2007. Getting involved in many things that I have never imagined before from more difficult student councelling, being a teacher, involved in politics, getting involved with more heterogeneous people and even getting through more difficult situations and ’strong (constructive) critics’. To certain points, I almost ‘blow up’ - reaching my limit - impatient with people who cannot handle ’simple things’ and upset about myself. However, JC reminds me of old Chinese proverbs from Confucius that my grandfather (Liem Eng Hoat) always told me when I was a little kid. I feel like being ’slapped’ with those proverbs.

He said,

“We are supposed to behave like rice crops,

the more mature they are, the lower they put their heads;

the more mature they are, the higher and thicker the stem, the stronger the wind;

the more mature they are, the heavier responsibility to protect the young crops around them;

the more mature they are, they drop the seed to the ground and feed the world”.